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Post by Admin on Jan 15, 2016 3:29:54 GMT
Welcome to the Toxic Charity discussion group! We're thrilled that you have decided to join us! Before we get started, there are a few things we would like to cover. 1. This is the first step towards changing the conversation about how we serve those that are in need in our community. 2. Be civil and respectful. It's okay to disagree, that's a part of healthy discourse. However, if civility and respect aren't observed you will be removed from the discussion. 3. Have an open mind. Be willing to be challenged by things you read and discuss here.
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Post by Travis Taflinger on Feb 2, 2016 15:40:09 GMT
Here is a summary of Chapter 1 (The Scandal) through some key quotes from Robert Lupton.
"What Americans avoid facing is that while we are very generous in charitable giving, much of that money is either wasted or actually harms the people it is targeted to help. And religiously motivated charity is often the most irresponsible. We mean well, our motives are good, but we have neglected to conduct care-full due diligence to determine emotional, economic, and cultural outcomes on the receiving end of our charity. Because, as compassionate people, we have been evaluating our charity by the rewards we receive through service, rather than the benefits received by the served. When relief does not transition to development in a timely way, compassion becomes toxic."
"When we do for those in need what they have the capacity to do for themselves, we disempower them. Giving to those in need what they could be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindest way to destroy people."
"Human compassion is at an all-time high! My hope is that the following chapters will point the way toward more careful and effective directives for our compassion, to the end that the interactions between the rich and poor may be redemptive- never toxic- for either group."
The two big takeaways for me are first that Americans are very generous and compassionate, but we need to make sure that we are being effective and redemptive and never harmful. Secondly, charity never wants to do something for someone that they can do for themselves. While it may make ourselves look great, it strips them of dignity and keeps them in the cycle of dependency.
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Post by Melissa Kidwell on Feb 2, 2016 18:02:29 GMT
"But our compassionate instinct has a serious shortcoming. Our memory is SHORT when recovery is LONG." I keep thinking of all the disasters that Kokomo has had in the past couple of years. From the floods to the the tornado. There seems to be so many quick responders that want to be a part of "helping" which is important but the long term is where we sometimes forget that we still need to be present. Another part that really struck me was on page 3. "-we have succeeded only in creating a permanent underclass, dismantling their family structures, and eroding their ethic of work. And our poor continue to become poorer." I pray that as I read this book that God will really open my eyes to what is around me. To empower more than enable!! I love this book. I can't seem to put it down!!
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Post by Kevin Sprinkle on Feb 3, 2016 3:35:12 GMT
First chapter floored me. So many things I have thought about before became real when verified by this author/book. "Giving to those in need what they could be gaining from their own initiative may well be the kindest way to destroy people." I've done many of the "wrong" things mentioned in the first chapter and a half that I have to focus on how I am going to continuing changing how I help in the future. Already downloaded The Work Of Hope at the recommendation of a friend to get another viewpoint of this topic. Looking forward to more discussion on this.
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Post by Admin on Feb 3, 2016 15:46:23 GMT
Great stuff so far! The book is definitely challenging and often times can be a punch to the stomach when we read it for the first time. We want to make it clear that the purpose of the book or our study of it is not to beat anyone up about how we give. Rather, our hope is that it causes us to rethink some things and to ask how do we really empower those we're serving to change and better their situation. We love "The Oath for Compassionate Service" Lupton spells out on pages 8 & 9. The idea is to come alongside and walk with those in need of our help. Such a big part of that is the simple act of LISTENING. What do you think, do we do enough listening to those we're serving?
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Post by jeffnewton on Feb 4, 2016 12:02:40 GMT
My take away from first two chapters. There is a difference between being in ministry "with" the poor and being doing ministry "for" the poor. Ministry "for" is often keeps folks an arms length away from us. It is about giving something--food, money, clothes etc. Ministry "with" the poor is much more difficult, it means working side by side. It requires the building of caring and respectful relationships with one another. Ministry "with" is understanding each other and developing a sustainable response to the causes and conditions of poverty. Working "with" and not "for" is authentic, relationship-based, that is ground in love and justice. Robert Lupton is challenging us not to disparage, judge or ridicule the poor, but to care enough to become friends with them. True friendship is when two people care for each other, support each other, share giftedness with each other and desire the best for one another.
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Post by Chelsea Radcliff on Feb 4, 2016 17:29:07 GMT
This is my second time through the book and both times this sentence caught me off guard:
"We have been evaluating our charity by the rewards WE receive through service, rather than the benefits received by the served."
Ouch. I have done this one too many times. I'm grateful for this discussion and I am looking forward to learning about new ways to do ministry WITH the poor, as Jeff mentioned above!
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Post by Travis Taflinger on Feb 5, 2016 16:56:48 GMT
Chapter Two Summary: The Problem with Good Intentions
Some great quotes from Robert Lupton that summarize chapter two:
"It is not motivation that we are questioning but rather the unintended consequences of rightly motivated efforts. Yes many of our motives are noble. We want to invest in the lives of others. We want to expose youth and adults to needs of a hurting world. Some of us are motivated by the teaching of Jesus- to clothe the naked, feed the hungry and show compassion to the oppressed. Often times we miss the big picture- focusing on what will benefit our team the most and neglecting the best interests of those we would serve." "Powerful people offering selfless support to the powerless. No thought of repayment. No ulterior motive. Charity work with no strings attached. Seems so noble, so Christian."
This chapter is full of good and bad examples of charity work/mission trips/business expenditures that were done. The chapter is wrapped up with the model of moving away from tradition "doing for" the poor and towards a "doing with" paradigm.
Personally, it is honestly easier to just give something away. On the other hand, development takes time and work, analysis and evaluation, initiative and empowerment. But if we are starting our own business or raising our own children wouldn't we gladly make that sacrifice to make sure we did everything possible to do our best! When we build relationships with the under-resourced, we need to do the same thing!
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Post by Joel Larison on Feb 9, 2016 20:36:17 GMT
I really resonate with your last paragraph, Travis. I think, personally when it comes to serving people, that many times I have been more concerned in "feeling good" for helping than I am really concerned with development and moving people out of poverty.
When I reflect on why that is, I think its because I want things to be microwaved...I don't want to slow cook...I don't want to wait to see the results of a long term relationship. This is sad because as a person of faith, nothing is farther away from the call of Jesus on my life.
When I think about the biggest challenge in changing the conversation in my church community, I think its the frenetic pace that many people run day in and day out and have not left the margin in their schedules to slow down and "do life with" people who God might have called them to serve.
Lupton rightfully states that good intentions are not good enough...what an indictment that challenges me as a community leader!
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Post by Travis Taflinger on Feb 10, 2016 18:07:37 GMT
Your point about being so busy and having lots to do is so true...there is a huge amount of freedom that comes from simplicity (in all areas of our life). As individuals, families, churches and community ministries we all need to seek more simplicity so that we can "do life with" more effectively.
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Post by Becky Crabb on Feb 10, 2016 21:21:24 GMT
Chpt 2: I'm enjoying the book a lot!! However, one thought about missionary trips: When i went to Africa and came back, I thought that the amount of money I spent on the trip could have been used to send at least one student to Africa University for one year. However, our leader kept telling us (and it's true) we were there to learn about the people and the mission and go home and tell people about it/them. I became a PR person for Africa and Africa University. So my question is: would as much money be given if short term missionaries didn't come back home and tell their stories of their first hand experiences??? No easy answer.
Chpt. 3: I love the discussion on whether to give to the street people, and the final answer. I especially love the last paragraph - how true that God touches our hearts to intervene with unconditional grace at critical points - seen it happen, way cool!! God is awesome!!
Chpt. 4: Love the starting point on P. 63 of asking the question and beginning at what we want as the outcome. Tough stuff, but SO SO worth it!!! I keep thinking of the mission trip I do each year to the Indian Reservation....
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Post by Admin on Feb 11, 2016 16:17:32 GMT
Some good conversation going on here! There's no silver bullet in helping people change their situation. It takes real commitment over an extended period of time. The story Lupton tells in the "Cheap Food" section of chapter 4 speaks to the truth about how most of us view charity, whether we're willing to admit it or not. He asks why we persist with giving out free food even though we know it creates dependency. He gets a surprisingly honest answer from a woman that was at the meeting. Her response is this..."Because it's easier! It costs much less in time and money to run a food pantry, and that's what churches want! Churches want their members to feel good about serving the poor, but no one really wants to become involved in messy relationships."
Do you believe this is really what churches want? If not, why are we still doing it?
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Post by Travis Taflinger on Feb 12, 2016 20:07:22 GMT
Chapter Three Summary: The Anatomy of Giving
A couple quotes from Robert Lupton that summarize chapter three:
"Recipients' response to charity devolved from gratitude to expectation to entitlement. This thorough look at my charity eventually exposed an unhealthy culture of dependency."
"It is delicate work establishing authentic parity between people of unequal power. But relationship built on reciprocal exchange (holistic compassion) makes this possible."
Micah 6:8 says what does the lord require? To act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. When we can combine justice with mercy it is a very powerful force. Our love is no longer cheap, but authentic. Our needs and desires are no longer personal, but what is best for others and the Kingdom of God. Here is a great Chinese poem that has been a driving force behind my thought process lately:
"Go to the people Live among them Learn from them Love them Start with what they know Build on what they have: But of the best leaders When their task is done The people will remark “We have done it ourselves.”
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Post by Travis Taflinger on Feb 16, 2016 14:54:42 GMT
Chapter four Summary: Needs vs Relationships
A couple quotes from Robert Lupton that summarize chapter four:
"Charity that does not enhance trusting relationships may not be charity at all. for some reason healthy people with hearts full of compassion forget fundamentals when it comes to building relationships: mutuality, reciprocity and accountability. Relationships build on need are seldom healthy. The recipient feels controlled by the strings attached by giver and giver feels deceived by recipient's lack of candor. If the victim no longer needs a solution, the rescuer is no longer needs and the relationship ends. We have to find a way for outsiders to become insiders. recipients must become dispensers, authors of rules, builders of community."
This chapter takes a deep look at what we can control: We must take our hands off the control and trust those we serve to become self-sufficient and self-reliant. "Mutual exchange" and "legitimate negotiating" and employment leads to true justice. Takes work and is not easy, but this is the process we should embrace to see true change!
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Post by Becky Crabb on Mar 2, 2016 0:11:40 GMT
Chpt. 5 - (p. 69) Mission trips do have value for ourselves, but they need to be recognized as such. Questions at top of p. 75 should help us all determine if we are helping ourselves or helping the mission. - Wonderful story about Salvation Army!!! Hindsite is 100%. Hope we can all learn from that. Chpt. 6 - "No Quick Fixes" is right!! Saw evidence of "Dead Aid" when I went to Zimbabwe in 2000. I took dresses for the girls in the orphanage. They were put on the girls so I could get a picture, then the dresses put in the warehouse. Each child had 2-3 outfits that were interchangable with others in the orphanage. I was told by some of the workers that the director comes and gets clothes that he/she wants from the warehouse for his family. - Also I saw the glasses that the Lions collect sitting in boxes in one of the little buildings. They couldn't be passed out to anyone until a doctor or someone came and tested the eyes of the people to match the glasses to the people. I did hear that someone went and checked eyes, but not sure how many glasses got handed out or how effective that program really is. Chpt. 7 - good stories on Wise Giving. Sure wish the microlending could work in the US, for many reasons (wish our culture was different).
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